Jackrabbit
by exxwhyzed
Summary: Jack: a professional thief, minor anarchist, and antagonist extraordinaire. Chapter 5: Jack still doesn't want to be a champion... or a summoner, and Kayle gets mad. "What do you mean no? That's not how this works! You come in, take the world by storm, and then either live happily ever after or die a hero." "Do you KNOW how many universes we've created just for people like you?"
1. It's a Trap

**Enter Jack. This is something I'll be doing alongside the other fic. Don't expect a schedule for this one either. This story is going to be interesting, at least the one that is planned as of 9/15/2014 at 8:43 PM.**

* * *

><p>Jack stood atop the tall, ornate building that was the Brari city Library. He was a tall figure, not the tallest of all, but taller than the average person. He was wearing his trademark tuxedo and fedora. Today's color was red, and so his traditional black tuxedo jacket and pants were accompanied by a rich red tux shirt, and the fedora that sat atop his head had a band wrapped around the bottom that was colored the same. His choice of dress was strictly banned in Brari due to the hat he wore. Jack wasn't sure when, why, or who it was that did it, but at some point some genius that had political power decided that he had a personal vendetta against fedoras. Jack loved wearing them, and this new ban only made him love wearing them even more. Jack's gaze drifted to the people going about their daily lives below. Those people were so boring and adhered to every rule in the book. This actually made it slightly easier for Jack to live his life, since one of the new laws enacted within the last few years stated that the citizens weren't allowed to harm him in any way despite what he did. The strict restriction against self-defense actually made all criminal's lives easier, and that was possibly why so many of them had begun to appear out of nowhere. Jack thought it was a little funny that in order for these new bloods to join the game, it had to be made easier. Much easier. Jack had been a professional thief since he was twelve, even though the small lunch money thefts were nothing compared to the well-planned heists that he pulled today. In any case, he was most likely the most experienced criminal in all of Brari with over fifteen years under his belt. He took out a small metal pipe that was about the length of his two hands together; that was another thing Jack found hilarious. The youngbloods needed guns to execute their plans, but all Jack needed was his staff. He walked over to the edge of the building and hopped off. His staff extended to its full six-foot length and caught a conveniently placed pair of clotheslines to break most of his fall. When he landed he performed a roll into a nearby alley. Jack collapsed his staff and began jogging in the direction of his next target.<p>

Every criminal had reasons for doing what they did, Jack had yet to find his. He always had a natural slight of hand, and was a hit at the playground when he dazzled his classmates with displays of misdirection and quick movements. Soon he realized that he could use these talents for his personal gain, and so he did. Maybe his reason was because he was greedy, maybe he just didn't want his talent to go to waste? He wasn't sure, but perhaps he'd find a reason one of these days. He felt himself step in a puddle as he rounded the last corner before he emerged out of an alley. He now stood before the Big House, it was the Government building of Brari. He had heard rumors of a new mode of transportation that had been finalized within the House. Of course there were police officers everywhere with automatic rifles, but it's not a problem if the people with guns can't see you in the first place. Jack joined the going-home crowd of 5:00 and walked unnoticed inside the building adjacent to the Big House.

_It's amazing how no one notices the only guy in the entire district that dares to wear a fedora._

It was something Jack had learned long ago: people have things to do, and if you don't get in their way that don't notice anything. That simple fact was perhaps one of the reasons he was the most successful criminals of his time. Soon Jack had climbed the twelve stories of the building and emerged on the roof. The distance was roughly some feet.

_I can make it… maybe._

Jack backed up a few feet to get a running start and then leaped across the gap to land on the roof of the House. The obvious route from here was to crawl the vents, so he decided to walk in the front door. He easily climbed down the from of the building unseen since the police were in front of him and looking in the other direction. As soon as he stepped in the door he froze. There were about thirty men with rifles all aimed at him ready to fire. It was almost as if-

"Jack, we were expecting you,"

_Shit._

That voice came from one story above where Smith, Mayor of Brari stood looking down from the balcony. "I suppose you are here to see the transportation? How convenient, we are in need of test idiots."

_They expected me, wonderful._

Jack tightened his grip on his staff. He knew there was no way he could take them all on. Maybe if there were only one or two of them, but thirty? Common Jack, you have your limits. Jack slipped the staff into his pocket as one of the policemen tied his wrists together, secured them with zip ties, and put handcuffs on him. It was a bit excessive.

"I do hope you are not planning on fighting this Jack, just come along."

_I wasn't._

Smith walked down the polished grey stairs and began leading Jack down several beige halls. Jack lost track of where they were going by the time they stopped in front of a metal door. This was bad, he didn't know how to get out if- when he escaped. Smith walked up to the door, pressed a few buttons on the keypad to the right of it, and opened the door. The police shoved Jack into the room and closed the door behind him. He stumbled and fell. Since his hands were bound several times, he could not break his fall and fell directly onto his face. Jack spit blood from his lip and felt his nose begin to trickle. Jack did his best to sit up as he heard a voice on the intercom.

"Jack, you are subject one, meaning that we have no idea what will happen to you if we do this. If you die, oh well."

_So this is how he gets rid of me? He can't execute me or kill me, his own laws prevent him from doing that. So he's going to kill me with science? Swell._

"If you have any objections to this, say something and we will let you go, dropping all charges held against you as well." Smith waited for a few seconds. "Oh wait… I forgot." He started to laugh uncontrollably.

Jack rolled his eyes. _Asshole, it's not even that funny. I bet he'd make fun of a disabled person as well. Then he'd get his ass kicked. Jack_ smiled at the thought, and even managed a quiet chuckle.

Smith coughed. "Now, good riddance Jackrabbit!"

_Fuck… this is gonna hurt._

It hurt, oh how it hurt. A singularity was created in the middle of the room that tore him apart within a second. As he felt his molecules being stripped apart he had a last thought.

_I didn't even know we had money to fund shit like this._

* * *

><p><strong>You have no idea how may times I accidentally wrote "Flynt" instead of "Jack" in this.<strong>

**Have the fun, all of the funs.**


	2. City of Progress

**Yup, this again. Yes, Jack is mute.**

* * *

><p>Jack woke up on an uncomfortable bed after experiencing some uncomfortable sensations. If he could focus, he would have noticed the bronze walls covered in gears of all shapes and sizes. He also might have noticed the tubes connected to his skin and the tall woman with pink hair sitting in the chair farthest from him, but he could not focus over the constant outside noise. Machinery, gas escaping, steam whistles blowing, and the thunk of metal on other objects was a constant beating on his eardrums. He groaned and cupped his hands over his ears to possibly drown out the noise. He glanced around the room and noticed the woman idly using some sort of tool to tinker with one of two oversized metal gloves that laid across her lap.<p>

The woman looked up from her current project and then yelled out the open door, "Cupcake! He's up!"

_Cupcake?_

Upon further inspection he noticed the woman's short pink hair, and that she was clad in a heavy looking suit of armor. Her features were hardened, and displayed a carefree-ish attitude laced with a serious tone. He wagered that she was a rash thinker, judging from her apparent choice of weapon, if that's what those behemoth gloves were, and the tattoo "VI" on her left cheek.

"The hell are you starin' at huh?" The woman asked.

Jack just averted his eyes and said nothing.

"Don't you hear me talkin' to you? I asked you a question."

Jack remained silent.

"Don't you speak english? or at all!?" He could tell she was short-tempered, her anger was beginning to show, and it might have boiled over to the point of physical confrontation if another woman hadn't shown up. She was dressed in a purple skirt and a large purple top hat. She had brown hair and expressed a much more serious yet friendly personality, perhaps the polar opposite of the other one. She had brown hair and there was a long rifle slung over her back.

"Vi, calm down. You haven't even asked him any questions yet and you're already looking like you want to beat his brains in."

"I did ask him a question actually, and he ignored me!"

"Just go back to fixing your gauntlets and let me handle the… non-violent interaction alright?"

Vi grumbled something and went back to her gloves.

_This is swell, the classic good cop bad cop shit. I wonder where I am. It looks like the inside of a damn clock, and the noise is unbearable._

"So mister..." The woman glanced at the clipboard at the foot of the bed. "hmm… what's your name?"

Jack shook his head and pointed to his throat, something that should be a universal sign for "I can't speak." Either that or "I'm choking" but he hadn't seen food since he tried to execute his plan to break into the Big House. The woman seemed to understand, and asked, "Can you speak?"

Jack shook his head, and the woman continued, "Well, my name is Caitlyn, and that's Vi." She pointed to the pink-haired woman who was still tinkering with the massive gauntlets. Caitlyn grabbed the clipboard and turned the paper on it over. She handed it to him, along with a pencil and a heavy eraser. He proceeded to write "Jack" on the clipboard and showed it to Caitlyn.

"His name's Jack," she said

"Whatever," Vi grumbled.

Jack wrote, "You guys are, police right?"

Caitlyn nodded. "Piltover's finest."

"So is this the good cop bad cop thing? Whatever you're accusing me of, I didn't do it."

Caitlyn chuckled. "No, this is just me. Vi doesn't communicate too well unless she's using her fists, and as for your other question, I just want to know how you got here."

Jack wrote, "What do you mean? I don't remember how I got here."

"Well, witnesses said that they smelled ozone and then this black sphere appeared, blowing everything away from it like a huge fan or something. When it was gone, you were in its place."

"I was arrested by-" He erased that, and wrote, "Where am I again?"

"Piltover, city of progress."

_Not after I'm done with it. Progress usually means coin, and all coin eventually leads to my pockets._

Jack wrote, "So this isn't Brari?"

Caitlyn shook her head. "I have no idea where that is."

Jack breathed a sigh of relief, and wrote, "It is my hometown, located in the country of Tafe, continent of Feta, on the planet of Runeterra. Any of those places ring a bell?"

Caitlyn read what he wrote and held her mouth open in shock. "Impossible! Valorian is the only- You mean to tell me that your home is also on Runeterra? As in… another continent?"

Jack nodded.

"This is news, the summoners, the scholars, everyone needs to know about this!"

_What's the big deal? It's like she's never even considered the fact that there might be other continents on this big-ass planet._

"You can go, I'll have the nurse come and lead you out. Vi, common, we have to tell EVERYONE."

* * *

><p>The nurse was a nice lady who quickly took the tubes out of Jack's arms and sent him on his way after he signed several forms. At this point he'd given up on hoping that the machinery noises would stop, and instead wondered how these people could stand it. As he stepped out of the hospital, or what he thought was a hospital anyway, he noticed clean-ish streets with people going about their business. There was not one person that didn't have something in their hands.<p>

"_Also on Runeterra." So I'm still here… -ish. On the one place on the planet that Brari's scholars didn't have a concept of, not that I'd listen to those uptight bookworms anyway._

Jack took a guess, and was correct in his assumption that one could hail a cab in this city. After observing a man hold his thumb in the air shortly followed by a cab picking him up Jack decided to try it. It worked, and after he crossed the speech barrier by using the paper and pencil the cabbie provided him he was on his way to the closest bar.

_It's going to become a serious burden needing to rely on people for too long. I need money, or knowledge of this place so I don't always have to write shit down so people can know what I'm trying to say. Either that or I could learn to play charades. Perhaps I could get lucky and find this driver every time… on second thought he smells._

Jack chuckled at the thought, causing the driver to glance at him through the rearview mirror. "You new in town?"

Jack nodded.

"Oh, well there's a closer bar, but I'll take you to the best bar in town for people of our income level."

Jack raised his eyebrow.

"I mean, you don't really look like the type of person who's really successful here. I'm talking hella money."

This caused Jack to become even more confused, so he raised the other eyebrow.

"I mean, to make it here you either have to be an inventor, or a superhero or some shit. Normal guys like you and me don't do so well in this place. Well, I mean I do well enough, enough to pay the bills ya know? It's just I don't have any luxury items because everything here is so damn expensive."

Jack nodded.

_Superhero? That ought to be a challenge. Then again, it seems like the common people here are fed up with their inferiority. Maybe I can be an anti-hero, take from the rich pricks and give to the good poor people. Of course I'd have to keep a percentage... a big percentage._

"Hey, you don't talk right?"

Jack nodded again.

"Ah, you can keep that pencil and that paper pad. It's a little hard to order a drink without an order. I'm Bruce by the way, nice to meet you..."

Jack scribbled his name on the paper, tore the piece off the pad and handed it to the cabbie. He immediately read it, disregarding all concern for driving safety.

"Jack? Alright Jack, we're almost there. If you want I can wait for you, you got a place to stay for the night? I know a guy who owns a cheap hotel. It's a good place though."

Jack shook his head.

"Ah, well I actually might join you in there, my shift isn't over, but fuck it right?"

Jack shrugged.

"Eh, fuck it. Oh by the way, I know a place where you could get a- Oh shit!"

Jack barely had time to react to the projectile that was speeding at them. It was a large, dark pink rocket with a shark face drawn on it. Jack opened the cab door and jumped out the cab. Bruce did the same just as the rocket impacted the ground beside the cab. The explosion threw the cab and surrounding cars aside, and tossed Jack and Bruce onto the sidewalk.

_Son of a bitch… what the..._

Jack stood slowly, winded from the force of the explosion. Miraculously he wasn't injured, and neither was Bruce, but that much couldn't be said for the ones around them.

"It's that skinny pale devil again!" Bruce yelled.

Jack turned and offered Bruce his hand.

_I just hope to god this makes you forget about my fare, even though I never intended to pay you._

"Everything was fine until that insane-ass anarchist showed up."

_Sounds like something worth my time, and like you've forgotten._

"She just goes around blowing shit up because 'it's fun.' It's as if she exists just to make my life even more shitty than it already is."

_As if you're the only one affected by this._

Jack wrote on the pad and showed Bruce. "Does she have a name?"

"No, well, no one knows but everyone calls her Jinx."

He wrote, "Where is she?"

"Why? Are you planning to become the next hero?"

_Quite the opposite._

"You owe me a cut if you make it pal. There's a rumor going around that she's been seen mostly around the north side of town." He pointed north. "Don't get yourself killed." When he turned around, Bruce finally noticed his blown up taxi cab. "You've got to be kidding me!"

Jack waved goodbye to Bruce and began walking. As soon as he was clear of most of the wreckage of Jinx's rampage, he began to run. When he reached a building, he simply found his way to the top using the ledges, fire escapes, and decorations. Once on the rooftops he ran faster. He felt like he was at home again as he took his staff from his pocket, expanded it, and used it to pole-vault over a large gap between steam-spitting buildings, running free without limits with the wind at his back.

* * *

><p><strong>GG<strong>


	3. Death by Legos

**Jack's Back!**

* * *

><p>Jack climbed, jumped, and slid down the final building before he got to the bad part of the bad part of town. It seemed as the farther he went north, the worse the city became, and if anything he had to have been in the worst part of it all. The tall buildings covered in expensive machinery were replaced with short, rundown houses. Half of them were burned down or otherwise flooded, exploded, or just destroyed in general. Most of the surviving houses were clearly re-built, lesser versions of what they used to be in their prime… what or whenever that was.<p>

_Damn, where's the progress here? It's like this Jinx character radiates destruction like a damn fallout zone._

He couldn't communicate to any of the few people running around or hiding in the shadows, not that they would take the time to, because he'd dropped the notepad Bruce had given him at some point during the Jinxing. Due to this fact, he decided to just keep going north until he found the most obvious spot a criminal bent on destruction of… well everything would be. It didn't take long.

He found Jinx, or who he guessed was Jinx, judging from the fact that she was sleeping cuddled up with a rocket launcher and a minigun, asleep inside a hollowed-out missile silo. The silo rested among other seemingly broken tools of destruction, bombshells, gasoline tanks, burlap sacks, thousands of bullet shells, broken and frayed wires, and a path made of millions of loose legos led to where the loose cannon slept.

_Why are there colorful blocks among tools of death and destruction?_

Jack stood at the edge of the pile of doom and picked up a bombshell. He tossed it at the silo and it made a loud noise upon hitting.

"Wholy fuck!" The unusually dressed skinny pale woman with long blue pigtails sat up in shock following the interjection. She glanced around before her eyes found Jack. Jinx groaned. "Who the hell are you, and what the fuck is sooooo important that you have to wake me in the middle of my nap? You know what? Fuck that, take off your shoes."

_What? Take off my shoes? What the hell have I gotten myself into?_

Jack just stood there with a look of disbelief on his face.

"You heard me right? or are you deaf? Take of your shoes!" Jinx stood up and aimed her minigun at Jack. Her face sent the message that she would gladly riddle him with bullets if he didn't comply to her unusual demands.

Jack took off his shoes.

"And your socks."

He took those off too. Standing barefoot before the queen of destructive trash reminded him that it was slightly chilly outside,

"Now, walk the rug of pain if you wish to have an audience with the mighty Jinx!"

Jack assumed she was talking about the colorful array of block before him, so he shrugged and made the biggest mistake of his life. Of course Jack had no idea what legos were, so he had no idea that they were the personification of evil to one's feet. He couldn't find words, not that he could yell them if he did, to describe the pain he experienced. Naturally he jumped up, but that only made it worse when he landed again. Jack managed to hop across the painful rug of death, trying to yell the entire way. He finally landed on his stomach when he reached the end of the torment, and didn't even bother getting up.

_What the fuck was that? Who would invent such a torture device? What kind of madman takes pleasure in destroying feet with tiny plastic squares, and why do they hurt so god damn much?_

Jinx bowed to Jack. "You have conquered the mighty test, and for that I grant you one question before fishbones blasts you to little bits"

Jack glanced up at the pale woman who was now holding her rocket launcher aimed at his face. He opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out.

_Right… I can't speak. I didn't plan for this at all. Perhaps she knows what acties is._

Jack thought to himself, and held up three fingers.

Jinx raised an eyebrow. "Three?"

Jack nodded. _This ought to be fun. _He motioned for her to continue.

"Three… words? I don't have time to play- actually I do, go on, I live charades."

_Charades? whatever._ Jack nodded and pointed to himself.

"Me."

Jack shook his head.

"I"

Jack nodded and crossed his arms.

"X"

He shook his head again and crossed his arms, moving them side to side so that they became crossed and uncrossed several times.

"no?"

He shook his head.

"Not?"

Jack held up his hand and tilted it rapidly from side to side.

"Can't?"

Jack nodded and pointed to his throat.

"Breathe"

Jack sighed.

"Talk! I can't talk! I did it!" Jinx threw fishbones in the air and when it landed a rocket fired into the air. It landed somewhere in the city, close enough where Jack could hear the explosion and people's cries. "Well, I think I have a pencil or something somewhere, and a paper something somewhere. Good luck finding them." Jinx just walked over to the lego pile and plopped herself on top of it, facing up. "You still get one question, then I'm blowing you up, so find that paper because I'm tired and want to get this over with."

Jack's search was interrupted by the sound of a helicopter overhead.

"Jinx! You skinny pale insane motherfucker! surrender or die! We will not have you harming the inhabitant of the only other now known continent of our world!" Vi said from the helicopter overhead.

"Vi, that's not nice, use your manners," Caitlyn said to her.

"Fine. Jinx, you delightful normally-colored virgin, please stop harming that citizen."

Caitlyn rolled her eyes and added, "Jack, are you hurt?"

Jack shook his head.

"Good." A rope fell from the copter. "Thanks Corki!" Caitlyn said as she and Vi slid down to where Jack and Jinx were standing. "Jinx, you're under arrest… again."

"What do you mean again? You've never arrested me," Jinx said laughing.

"We have attempted to, and that counts for our purposes." Caitlyn looked to Vi who was holding a small pair of cuffs in her giant hands. Jack chuckled.

"What's so funny?" Vi asked.

Jack just pointed to Vi's hands.

"He's saying your hands are too fat to hold the cuffs right fat-hands," Jinx joked.

Jack let out a toneless laugh and nodded slowly. He didn't even notice Jinx had made a break for it.

"Look what you did! She's getting away!" Vi yelled. "Corki, follow her!"

The helicopter began following the pale woman as Jack began running in the same direction. She might be fast, but Jack had the advantage of the rooftops. He spotted her as she ran, not so hard to do when she was the only one among the people with blue hair. Also the fact that there were about ten people on the street helped a little. Since the rooftops were low, Jack could still see the helicopter flying high above him as its searchlight swept the crowd, if you could call it a crowd. He almost lost Jinx when she ducked under a collapsed dome, but took note of her hiding spot. Jack glanced up at the helicopter that was now flying lower to find Jinx. He took out his staff and vaulted himself up in the air. He spun his staff like the blade of the helicopter. Of course this didn't do anything because physics, but it was funny to see the look on the pilot's face as Jack slammed his staff into one of the copter blades. The copter was forced to make an emergency crash landing with Jack, except Jack landed on his feet.

As Jack wan in the direction of Jinx's hiding spot, he heard the pilot scream, "What have you done to my ROFL Copter!?"

_Wonderful, getting an early start to my criminal record._

* * *

><p><strong>Ah... the destruction of an internet icon, poor Corki.<strong>

**GG**


	4. Pow-Pow's Crush

**It's REALLY been a while. Honestly I nearly gave up on this because I didn't know how to proceed... but I pulled through for the about ten of you actually reading this. You duh bus :3**

* * *

><p>Jack ducked under the collapsed dome and came face-to-barrel(s) with Jinx's minigun. He held his hands up in defense despite how useless it would be if she decided to let the bullets fly.<p>

"Shit man, thought you were a cop or something." Jinx said as she lowered the gun. "On second thought they're not smart enough to find me here." Though the gun was lowered, she continued clutching it in her pale hands, which was a bit unsettling to Jack. "Come one in, this is my other hideout… well one of my other ones."

Jack followed her deeper into an oddly organized system of tunnels and caves designed to confuse one who'd never been there, dooming them to a life of eternal wandering.

"I've got a thing for you to communicate or whatever. I guess I still owe you one question, and maybe if I like it I'll let you live since you distracted the cops for me and all."

_I don't even remember my question anymore._

The two eventually came to a junk-walled cave that was larger than the rest that was complete with a torn couch and dirty bed. Jinx reached under the bed and pulled out an unused napkin and a needle.

"Don't have any pencils or anything, use your blood or something."

Jack raised both eyebrows.

"What? It's not like I planned on having a mute visit me."

Jack shrugged and took the needle and napkin from Jinx. He spotted a pile of mud in the corner of the cave and walked over to it.

"Wait! That's my mud! Don't touch it."

Jack gave her a look of disbelief.

"Use the other one over there." She pointed to the mud puddle to Jack's left.

_You're kidding right? She's attached to a damn puddle of mud._

Jack sighed and walked over to the other puddle of mud and dipped the needle in it. He was able to scribble something barely legible on the napkin and gave it to Jinx.

"Jack? Well telling me your name isn't a question so try again." She handed Jack another napkin.

Jack wrote and gave it back to her.

"My favorite gun? What a great question, maybe I won't have to explode you after all." Jinx glanced around and then continued in an oddly loud voice. "I love all my guns the same Jack. I don't have a favorite, you hear me?" Then she lowered her voice to a whisper and spoke in his ear. "It's Zappah, but don't tell my other guns, they get really jealous really easily. You shoulda seen what Fishbones did to the last person who insulted her."

Jack raised an eyebrow.

"Oh I forgot, I haven't introduced you to the girls. I'm so stupid!" Jinx took off her guns and unpocketed a smaller gun. She pointed to the rocket launcher, the minigun, and finally the zap gun while saying, "Fishbones, Pow-Pow, and Zappah, meet Jack. Jack, meet the girls."

Jinx slid beside him and muttered behind her raised hand so the guns couldn't read her lips. "I think Pow-Pow has a crush on you. Sly dog." She gave him a light punch on the shoulder.

Jack sighed.

"I bet you're tired Jack."

_I'm not._

"Well, the bed's taken, so you can have the floor. Tomorrow I'll take you to the institute, and then you can become the random guy who surpasses expectations, find the most beautiful woman in the league, marry her whether she's taken or not, and then go on to become friends with everyone there."

_What?_

Jack raised an eyebrow.

"I'll explain in the morning. Goodnight!"

_But I'm not-_

Jinx tossed a rock that bounced off the wall and hit him square in the back of the head. It was the last thing he remembered before falling asleep.

* * *

><p>"WAKE UP!"<p>

Jack jumped a bit too high as a result of Jinx's wake-up call and his head slammed into the ceiling of the pile of junk Jinx called home, well, one of the homes apparently.

_Damnit. What the hell is wrong with her?_

"We have places to go, I have matches to play, people to kill, fuck to shit up… wait no, shit to fuck up… yeah that's it. Comon! I'll explain on the way! No time to shower let's GOOOOOOOOOO!

Jinx grabbed Jack's arm and dragged him across the floor through the tunnels of debris until they reached the outside world. The light was blinding, and the smell was-

"What the hell are you doing!? No time for description! Let's move man!"

_She must be really crazy to just break that wall like that... and to insult the author no less- I mean... crazy... yeah._

Jack was basically flying with the speed Jinx was pulling him along.

_What have i gotten myself into._

"Right, so here's the short version: There's this place called the Institute of War, blah blah blah, introductions and exposition that no one cares about. Basically it's an arena of death, and by death I mean killing small inferior beings smaller than yordles who wield inferior spark sticks and hammers until you become powerful enough to kill everyone and RULE THE WORLD!"

Jack would have given her a blank stare if he wasn't flying at the speed of Mach 5.

"Anyways, you want to be a champion, so I'm taking you there."

_I don't though… I don't even know what a champion is._

"Look, see that?" Jinx stopped, and Jack slipped from her grasp, flying forward into the wall of a building.

_Yes…_

"This building houses the all the portals in Piltover, well at least most of them." She noticed Jack who was stuck in the wall of the building and sighed. "No time for breaks lazy, let's go." She pulled him out of the wall and dragged him along again.

I haven't even woken up yet. I'm still asleep and this is a bad dream. When I wake up, I'll be back at someone's home getting ready to start the day by hijacking that donut truck and laughing as the police chase a giant donut down the highway.

"We want that one." Jinx pointed to the center portal, its vortex was white unlike the other blue portals.

Since Jack couldn't protest because of his inability to speak, he was dragged to the portal, and thrown, literally, in by Jinx. "I'll meet you on the other side Jack!"

* * *

><p><strong>GG<strong>


	5. Denial

**Making fun of myself in this one. Anyways, special thanks to the people who reviewed this story.**

**I'd also like to point out that the views expressed in whole or in part by any entity in this story are not mine, riots, or anyone's really. They come from the back of my mind as I attempt to make this fic a bit entertaining. Don't like it? Sorry. :/**

* * *

><p>Jack fell out of the other side of the portal and onto the cold stone floor.<p>

_Ouch. Damnit._

Jinx walked through the same portal shortly afterwards and pumped her fists in the air. "Victory! I'm sure there's a pad and paper, around here for you to use. Wait no… pad and pencil. Or maybe pencil and paper. What about a pen? Do you like pens?" Jinx looked back at Jack, who was still laying on the floor.

He shook his head.

"Good, because those are harder to find anyways."

Jinx glanced at her empty wrist, checking a watch that wasn't there. "Oh dear, I gotta jet, there's a match starting with my name on it. You can fend for yourself right? Ok Seeya!"

_But… I can't. She didn't even wait for me to try and answer. I don't even know where the hell I am, but I guess now that Jinx is gone I can get a description of this place._

The floor he was standing on was grey stone, cold to the touch, and it looked very hard. The last part confirmed from Flynt's fall. Around him people were entering and exiting portals, more entering than exiting, at an alarming rate. It was like rush hour but with people, and weird space-timey junk instead of roads. The people looked normal enough, as people go, and most of them wore purple robes, some with trims of bronze, silver, gold, a green metal, white, silver and blue, or gold and blue. Others lacked a trim, and some were cut short. One man even had just a hood.

_Interesting. I can only guess that those robes represent some kind of authority. Full robes for the most experienced perhaps? I have no idea what to make of the trims though. If I could ask someone I would. Why am I mute?_

Flynt simply followed one of the people with a gold trim, assuming that he was among the higher class of individuals here. When they got outside, Jack continued following this person but always kept a few people between them to ensure they didn't notice. When the man turned a corner, Jack moved to the other side of the path, even though the path was quite narrow. The man led him through a field of green grass, past a row of several different looking apartment complexes, and a prison. He was just one step from following the man into an unnecessarily tall building when he felt like a truck slammed into him from his side. Next thing he knew, he was flying through the air being carried by a winged someone in golden armor.

"My god I've been looking all over for you," She said.

_I'm sure._

"You must be the new champion; there's no time to waste because you're late as it is. The summoners are growing irritated."

_I don't know what you're talking about._

"Since we're late, I need to know what your name is now, and what your backstory is so I can send it to the story office to get a jumpstart on your introduction to the public."

Jack said nothing as usual.

"Wait… I forgot you're the mute one. Shit." The armored angel dropped him in front of a large, short building painted white all around. Jack righted himself and noticed the doors were red with a white fist etched in the wood. There were purple banners with the word "Riot" stamped on in red. The sign above the door read "Champion Origin Ward: AU division."

_Cow. I'm at the cow. I hate this place already._

The armored angel landed beside him and took of its helmet. The woman who stood before him had fair features with blonde hair flowing down to her shoulders. He could see the frustration building up inside of her as expressed by her permanent scowl.

"I'm Kayle." She pulled a pencil and pad from nowhere and handed them to Jack. "Here, now you can say things."

Jack took the items and pondered for a while. "_Where exactly am I?"_

Kayle read his note and sighed. "Swell, another 'outsider from a distant land that nobody's ever heard of.' Look, this is Valorian, more specifically the institute of war. Here is where battles of epic proportions take place between teams of five champions to settle issues. It basically removes the need for large-scale wars by sending a select few people to represent each city-state to control a single champion to in theory win, settling the dispute as if it were an actual war. You want to be a part of this right? A simple yes will suffice."

Jack wrote: _"Not really."_

Jack showed her his new note and she shook her head. "Then you must want to be a summoner."

_"And that is?"_

Kayle read and replied, "The ones who do the controlling of the champions."

_"No."_

"What do you mean no? That's not how this works! You come in, take the world by storm, and then either live happily ever after or die a hero. That's how it goes, no deviations from the story."

Jack wrote: _"I really just want a place to sleep and food in my belly. I don't need to be a champion or anything. I'd actually prefer to return to wherever I came from this morning."_

Kayle read this and stared at him with murderous intent. "You mean to tell me, that we spent all this time creating a separate universe just for you and your journey as a champion or summoner, and you're not even going to accept!? Do you KNOW how many universes we've created just for people like you!? HUNDREDS! and that's just counting you people, Don't even get me started on the current champions who want us to make new Runeterras just to satisfy their own personal fantasies, or the summoners who want to see their own fantasies, which are sometimes worse." She shuddered. "If we count those, we're talking nearly three thousand! We do all of this for you, and you don't even appreciate it!? Oh how I could just smite you right where you stand, bring my holy sword of virtue down upon your head, and..."

Jack began to write on as Kayle continued her ranting about the nonsense that only she seemed to know about.

_"What exactly is your role in all of this?"_

He showed her the pad and she calmed down enough to read it.

"In case you haven't guessed, I'm in charge of all of this. I oversee the creation, management, and possible abandonment of every single alternate universe created for the benefit of our summoners, who for some reason seem to get a kick out of seeing something new coming out of this place. I just think to myself: Why can't you just be happy with the way things are now? and then they respond with answers like: 'oh because it's the celebration of the creative spirit, and it enhances the depth of the characters.' I call bullshit. A story about Ahri and some random guy who fell ontop of her miraculously one day and then surprise! they fall in love? That's not creative anything! That's just someone sitting in their basement living out their sick fantasies!"

_"Maybe that's because you've never been involved in one of these 'sick fantasies.'"_

"That's not it at all! And I have! … a few times" Kayle stared at the ground. "Shut up alright? You know nothing."

_Lies…_ Jack sighed._ "In any case, I'm sorry for inconveniencing you with my free will, but I really don't want to be a champion."_

"Swell… I'm going to have a long talk with the summoner who thought you up. In the meantime, I might as well give you the grand tour."

_"Fine, lead the way."_

* * *

><p><strong>To that one Guest: Thanks, I'll try to keep it that way.<strong>

**Special round of applause to everyone reading this, especially the followers and favorite-er, you guys are the bus.**

**Feedback is always appreciated. Even flamers will be acknowledged... and then iced. Trolls may or may not be fed, and then thrown back under the bridge. Ignorance will be tolerated, and then sarcasm-ized.**

**GG**


End file.
